The many flaws of Twilight.

Its time for you twilight crazy fans to get a small dose of realty, your beloved "Twilight" is incredibly flawed. So instead of letting the Internet being purely pro-Twilight i think its time a certain blog went right ahead and list them all. Using the magic that is the Internet and my own brains i have made the ultimate list of... Twilight flaws.Que the death threats....... NOW!

1) Sperm are living cells that need to be reproduced. If you have been dead for a hundred years such as Edward Cullen your sperm would be LONG dead. Also sperm needs protein, something Edwards body has no need for. If Edward has no sperm, how did he conceive Renessme?

2) 23 and 24 chromosomes does not produce a healthy off spring. Nessie either had a genetic disorder would of died.

3) If Jasper shouldn't of been around people why did he go to school. The Cullen family lived in the middle of no where. I'm sure they could find somewhere to hide him! Its not like they HAD to go to school.

4) Carlisle was hiding in the London sewers in the 1700’s … London didn’t have sewers in the 1700’s

5) The whole dam 4 books is " I love you", "But I'm a monster", " I still love you", " Yeah, still a monster.... ". Gawd I think we all get the picture!!!!

6)There love is based purely on looks. She loves him for his perfect facial features and impossibly captivating eyes and he likes her cause she smells good. Not once its " oh i love him cause he makes me laugh" or " I love her personality". Guys its lust not love.

7) Stephanie Meyer must of read the thesaurus till she learnt it buy heart cause in breaking dawn i swear she used every possible symomen for the word "said".

8) Edward Cullen is a pedophile!! How would you like to be hit on and stalked by a 100 + man when your only 17? Well put a mask on it and bam you have Edward Cullen and his controlling, emotionally unstable behavior. Its quite sick. I fear for my gender's future, for what they're learning about love and relationships through this series. The fact that Bella and Edward's obsessive relationship is painted as "true love is quite disturbing.

9) The fans!!!! There crazy. They get sucked into this and some do some pretty weird things. I cant be the only one who's seen the hundreds of Twilight tattoo's there are out there. That shit is there FOREVER man and some people have full on paragrapths on their backs from the book.

10) Thanks to ,http://otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html, number 10 is the The Catalog.

Number of Pages in the Book: 498
The First Hint of a Plot that Is Not Bella and Edward's Romance: page 328
When the Plot Actually Arrives: page 372
Boys that Totally Love Bella (Including Edward Cullen): 5
Approximate Amount of Time Bella and Edward are Romantically Involved Before Bella Is Begging Edward to Turn Her into a Vampire so They Can Be Together Forever: Like, two weeks. Maybe three. The time line's a bit fuzzy.
References to Edward's Beauty: 165
Broken Down into the following categories -
Face: 24 (Favorite adjectives: glorious, heavenly, seraphic)
Voice: 20
Eyes: 17
Movement: 11
Smile: 10
Teeth: 8
Muscles: 7
Skin: 7 (Note: This only contains accounts of Edward's skin being beautiful. I didn't count references to it as "pale," "cold," or "white." If I had, this number would be about ten times larger.)
Iron Strength or Limbs: 5
Breath: 4 (EVEN HIS BREATH IS AMAZING.)
Scent: 4
Laughter: 3
Handwriting: 2
Chest: 2
Driving Skills: 1
The Number of Times...
Bella Is Clumsy or Makes a Reference to Her Clumsiness: 26
Bella Sneers at Forks or Its Inhabitants: 22
Bella is "Dazzled" or Rendered Speechless by Edward's Beauty or Touch: 17
Edward Tells Bella to Stay Away from Him While Completely Contradicting Himself with His Behavior: 16
Bella is Utterly Desolate at Edward's Absence: 12
Edward and Bella Kiss: 8
Bella's Hormones Get the Better of Her and She Attacks Edward, Almost Causing Him to Eat Her: 2 (She's not even allowed to kiss him back! Where's the fun in that?)
Edward's Kiss Makes Bella Faint: 1
Edward's Kiss Makes Bella's Heart Literally Stop: 1
Bella Thinks She Isn't Good Enough for Edward: 6
Edward Is Referred to As Godlike: 5 (Note: This number might be off, as I didn't start counting until three or four mentions in.)
Edward Tells Bella She's Unnatural: 5
Edward Sparkles: 3
Bella is in Mortal Danger: 3
Edward Saves Bella from Mortal Danger: 3
Edward Stalks Bella, For Real: 2 (Note: One of these instances involves watching her sleep every night for, like, months.)
Bella says "Holy Crow!": 2
Bella and Edward Argue About Who Loves the Other Most: 1
Edward's Inability to Read Bella's Mind is Explained: 0

11) The names are plain STUPID! ie. Bella Swan = Beautiful Swan. Anyone else think thats lame??

Want more ?? Just google it. The whole twilight serious is just WRONG and I'm not the only one who thinks so.

List of annoying things me and amber are doing at Movie Marrathons.

1) When talking to someone, tilt your head to the side.
2) Never laugh at what they say.
3) Laugh at everything they say.
4) Pronunce people's names wrong everytime you meet them.
5) Make a loud and abrupt noise when nobody is looking, then face the other direction when everybody looks your way, pretending the sound came from behind you.
6) Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father."
7) When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.
8) Begin every sentence with, "By the Gods!"
9) Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.
10)Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.
11) Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"
12) Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.
13) Call everyone a communist.
14) While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason.
15) Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.
16) Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.
17) While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).
18) Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?"
19) Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"
20) Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!
21) Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
22)Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners. Demand a dollar in a British accent.
23) At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you."
24) Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
25) Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."
26)Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say.
27) Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2.
28)Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in peoples brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
29)Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over..
30)Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

Songs in my little head.. ( ok maybe huge.. )

Ok so i thought it was by time to pick up on me and ambers slack and right a new post to make are 3 "readers" happy ( that including ourselves by the way..)
So today at school i had a little problem . All day i had songs in my head!
It all started in the morning during my first 3 periods, i couldnt stop humming cassie davis - Differently !
I think i might love that song!
During recess for a brief moment atleast i had a rest while i had surfin' bird in my head from the night before were i watched family guy.
And for some reason now i have doctor in my head by Cute is what we aim for.
DAM IT AMBER U DIDNT TAKE MY IPOD WITH U!!!!

MINTIES!

<<<minties. seriousoly i cant stop eating them. I never new i liked minties so much until now. im not sure why i all of a sudden am obssesed with them but i looooove them. So i have a theroy that if i keep eating them non stop like i have been i will never have bad breath again! Its a completley full proof plan. trust me. You know what else i like the wrapper. There so god damn funny, with the whole "its moments like these you need a mintie" and then the funny little picture i love it! Come on who dosent like laughing at other peoples misery. Man i must seriously sound like a friggin saddist or something, calm down i promise im not. Or am i? Okay im not. I feel to guilty easy to be a saddist so yeh there goes that carrer choice......even though its not a carrer...

MY NEW ENEMY

I swear i really do hate diet coke now. I have had almost 6 today and i think im hyped up on caffeen. My eyes feel pernemtly glued open. On a plus its 3 days till me and Ambers pic-a-nic (yes you HAVE to say it like that) and 4 days till the movies :) Thats if I sleep till then. I dont think i will. At least im happy now !

your very wide awake buddy :)

Michelle

AHOY AHOY!

AHOY AHOY!
so im watching matilda and did anyone ever realise her eyes are grey!!! DEVIL CHILD! im totally gunna have like an army of grey eyes people after me now arent i? awell! so yeh i dont no why i notice these things i just do. Michelles mum thinks im cool so nehh. yeh showed all you! by all you i do mean michelle cause no self respecting person would read my blog :) so yes im actually only doing a blog at this very moment cause michelle made me post a new one. Shes just angry cause im totally her pimp....yeh jealous? i know you are. so yes this is all....im extremley intresting arent i?
so peace homies :)

Jo bros

So I thought the end of the Jonas Brothers Obsession was long behind me, in till last night. I was giving my room a quick clean up because as my mum would say it "Looked like a pig pen" and I found my Jonas Brothers Cd and thought why not listen to a couple of tracks?

Big Mistake! I am not once again a Jonas Brothers fan. I went from liking them, to loving, to obbsession, to hating now im at liking there music.

I have to admit but im really excited for there 3D movie now which opens in June! or maybe July....Ok so im not sure.

xx
Michelle

yeh what now michelle!

HAHA now ill know whats happening when you have math and your happy about it! Yeh i completley foiled your plan! And you left out saying exclamation mark at the end of your sentence as a way to make something less drab. for example........... "damn michelle just got here, now we have to leave .." now to make this funner you could say....."damn michelle just got here, now we have to leave.....EXCLAMATION MARK!" and just by doing that the whole situation becomes better. Ah your not the only genious. yup i am also quite full of genious to. And also to amke things better in class you add and i jizzed in my pants. for example the teacher says........"Math test today everyone!".......now to make this better you would add......."Math test today everyone! (and i jizzed in my pants)" yup makes everything good (and i jizzed in my pants). hmm have you ever realized how completley spazz our minds are......?
so yes that is all.
peace homies! :) and i jizzed in my pants.......EXCLAMATION MARK.

Gangstaizzle and Mathing :)

Let me give you a play by play of what I call Gangstaizzle. Here I was listening to my i pod on shuffle near the door of my Dads work. I was listening to I just want you by AJ Rafael doing my mad air ukulele when I'm on a boat came on and BAM!!!!! GANGSTAIZZLE! Basically all it is the strange situation my mind puts me into when ever a hip hop comes on. and i can not help to start doing my incredible lame hip hop moves. Sadly its not just hip hop songs, I'm basically a slave to music. I just cant help but move. In most situations its OK but when I'm at school in the middle of class I STRUGGLE not to move but sometimes Ill be focusing on something then realise that I'm doing something stupid like randomly bopping or worse of all singing!!

God I am such a spazz, but what can you do about it? Everyone seems to put up with it and i think I couldn't function otherwise lol :)

Also I also noticed just another way to make any drab situation just that little more positive. Just add -i.

Ill give you a example. Your at school and the bell goes and you have to say "dam it guys I got to go to Maths" your friends give you a sympathetic look ( well I'm assuming normal friends do, mine would laugh at me) and you shuffle off to class.

Now using my AMAZING invention which is adding ing this is what can happen. Bell rings, "Well this was fun but I got to go mathing" with a smug smile and you turn away confidently till your out off sight of your friends then continue off to class shuffling as usual. Sure you still have to sit throughout the same boring Math class but at least you can be amused by the fact that for the whole period your friends wont stop thinking what the hell your going on about :)

I'm a genius!! But who didn't know that??

Now all I need are these shoes and everyone would know it.

OK maybe not but there sooo.. pretty
xx Michelle

sorry michelle!!

Hehe woops! you seriously should of plannned to see 17 again sooner, dude its like one of the hardest movies to avoid....but yeh sorry michelle :D i loveee youuuu! Anyaways so today i quit hockey!! (this is the part when the people in my head go OMG!) and yeh i dunno, it got to boring and repetative man i hate doing things for to long, i should probaly work on that. Also ive run out of wizz fizz! Im freaking out man, i need the stuff man I NEED IT! NEEEEEEEED ITTTT!
so yeh....
peace homies :)

Just thought I should add that SOMEBODY sounds like a pot head and it aint me.
xx Michelle

Movie spoillers and Wii :)

So I just read Ambers last Post (in the pink ) and am now quite annoyed. She has spoiled a movie i have been wanting to see in ages! I have been making sure not to see to many ads or anything of 17 again, which I have to say is increadbly hard sience there on every 7 seconds. Atleast i only have to wait intill Friday now to see it with Chealsea which is exactully 8 days! AHHH! Another ad just popped up. This is going to be increadbly hard.

Anyways i played wii fit yesterday.... for 3 hours ! Yeah im setting the record for most hours on wii fit. I wouldnt try it if i was you. Not that i want someone to break it or anything, its just the fact your legs ACHE afterwoods. Luckly i shared a nice rasberry flavoured bubblebath with my pally Mr Rubberducky ( hes a rubberduck incase you were wondering), so today i can actully move unlike last night....

Hmm.. ever sience dads got boxxd in ive turned ive turned into a super spy. Just call me 007 cause i know things man. Like the fact that the same old man walks his dog at 3:30 every day. Yep bet you didnt know that!

luv ya!
Michelle

My day at the movies!

Ahoy Ahoy,
today.......how do i explain today? Well i went and saw a movie. 17 again to be exact. it was quite a weird movie, the chick tried to make out with her dad, i spose i should cut her some slack considering her dad was Zac Efron so i mean who wouldn't want to make out with him rite? Anyways yeah a movie don't i have an exciting life? so while i was at the movies i began to wonder what would happen if the little plush toys in the machine game thingy came to life....(yes i don't no why i wonder these things..) so i began to think since the plush toys were from monsters VS aliens does that mean they start to eat us all? cause thatd be preety freaking awesome. I mean apart from the dying part..but yeah if some little plush monster came up to me and was all "ima eat choo" id probably start laughing and go "well aren't you just the cutest little nugget I've ever seen, i just wanna stick a bowl of nachos on your head and microwave you!" Yeah i don't no either....im just that completely random i spose. So that's all
:) Peace Homies!

Just another day...

Hmm I was just experimenting a little with font and have noticed that they all look the same. THERE ALL BORING!!! Whats the point of having multiple choices if they all look similar??
I wonder if I can get downloads like i can in photo shop. They have mad font. At school I downloaded this one with rad peace signs in it. Its all "hippy".

I suppose if this whole thing was written in "hippy" it would pretty hard to read after a while. I guess boring is OK after all. Just in very very very small doses.
peace out xx

Im full of randomness and smiley faces :)

So blog spot.......ah another way for me to avoid doing homework and other un-important responsibilities! Ah yes along with twitter, myspace, facebook and beebo i can now add blog spot to my list of addictive websites. Anyways today i came up with the most brilliant idea in the ENTIRE world, whenever its a rainy gloomy day I'm simply going to grow a few hundred feet and replace the rain clouds with sunshine clouds. Trust me its completely full proof, nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Now i just have to figure out to spontaneously grow a few hundred feet, should be easy :) so my day today was pretty much a complete bore! i got up and felt like i had a massive hang over due to my late night at the Easter show (which was completely awesome!) and then i had waffles with honey for breakfast and the rest of my day pretty much consisted of TV and food my two favourite things!! anyways i spose i should stop typing now and save everyone from my excessive rambles.....
:) peace homies!